To: All employees
From: Management
Subject: Special High Intensity Training

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well
trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training
(S.H.I.T). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T than anyone
else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the
job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the
top of the S.H.I.T list, and our managers are especially skilled at
seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle.  Employees who do
not take their S.H.I.T will be placed in Departmental Employee
Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T) Those who fail to take D.E.E.P
S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T
S.H.I.T) Since our managers took S.H.I.T before they were promoted,
they do not have to do S.H.I.T anymore, as they are all full of
S.H.I.T already. If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in
a job training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding
Lecture List (B.U.L.L S.H.I.T) Those who are full of B.U.L.L S.H.I.T
will get the S.H.I.T jobs, and can apply for pormotion to Director of
Intensity Programming (D.I.P S.H.I.T) If you have further questions,
please direct them to our Head Of Training, Special High Intensity
Training (H.O.T S.H.I.T)

Thank you,
Boss in General
(B.I.G S.H.I.T)